pre-Trauma!

alhamdulillah, approval from CEO has been granted. the four of us will be leaving for Maryland in a few weeks to come. I hate to say how much I am going to survive leaving Fatiha behind for almost 2 weeks but the air ticket is sooo damn expensive and definitely we couldnt afford. I know hers would be charged at 20% or so, but where to find RM 8k for Abbas's flight??
Plus, its just Maryland in the killing winter! Abbas and Fatiha wont be prepared for that!

Mak and Alang would babysit Fatiha during that period, but she has never slept without me, i mean without BF-ing from me! Risaunya hati nih tak tau la nk ckp camne, Abbas pulak dah start trauma sampai almost everyday we speak about this.

Ever since she was born, i have never left her. She followed me to Terengganu, Kelantan, cameron Highlands for hundreds of time, JB even to Kedai Runcit Cempaka beli panadol sepapan. Masak pn sama2 kat dapur, i put her on the table top while i am cutting/chopping shallots or kupas bawang. At night, she wakes up at least twice for feeding, she takes FM but only BM will put her to sleep. she can be put sleep without me provided she is extremely tired as if playing one whole day. occasionally we can do that, but for 12 days straight?????i dont think so!

Abbas redha aku pergi since it is not easy to get the chance...aku pn mmg nk pergi since the beginning of the project....

Ya Allah, bantulah suamiku dan anakku. Permudahkanlah urusan mereka sepeninggalan aku nanti.

from B-suite with love

alhamdulillah, finally we managed to arrive safely at Penang. Thank you to my dear GPS, specially bought lovely husband few months back. I still remember how reluctant I was when Abbas told me he wanted to buy it. I totally disagreed since I couldnt find any use to it. I believed I knew almot every roads in KL and Bangsar due to various meetings held in those places. But he proved me wrong....again!

we checked in at 11 today, after almost an hour trying to find where was the right entrance. Alang saw the building from far but we could not locate, it was not on GPS so we had to stop by a small stall asking Pakcik Nasi Lemak. Thanks alot pakcik for the direction. I have to really update the map soon....!

conference-wise, quite impressive i must say! the organisers adressed me with Dr...Gile ke hapa! mana ade Dr maaaa, nih hampeh punye peserta je. just to share with all of u, the worst tsunami which took almost 250,000 lives in 2004 was an exact repetition of 1880s events. of course earhquake was the trigger factor, but submarine landslide could induce tsunami of much severe and devastating impacts, perhaps in the order of 3 times as much.

cant wait for tomorrow!!!!

p/s: kasihan suamiku terpaksa melayan Susuk-Pocong keseorangan. best la kampung abang ni, nasi kandar yummie!!

bila tak tau nk menulis

notes to myself:

1. to leave at 6 or latest by 7 for penang tomorrow
2. make sure Fatiha's medicine are all packed

yes! despite Fatiha and I being unwell due to flu and heavy cough, we still have to make long distance trip to USM. I signed up for the Tsunami Workshop long time ago, and I have been looking forward for it ever since. The fee was waived due to very early registration, and the upcoming project really need input which would partly come from this trip. I hope it would be very fruitful!! Amin.......

Fatiha is now 18 months or 1.5 years. Her next jab is due next week so i have to make an appointment for this. Apparently the Paed is now on leave, and can onvly be visited at night. I dont want to jeopardise our little family time for this visit, so i might have to reschedule it whenever she is back.

and salam takziah to adik Aaliyah Aiman who was cruelly murdered and sexually abused by heartless BF of her stupid mother. I heard this last couple of days on IKIM whilst driving Fatiha to her Taska. I couldnt imagine how tortured she was the pain she had to overcome. Allah akan membalas setiap satu perbuatan di dunia dan tambahan seksaan yang berat di akhirat.

and on one occasion, we were having dinner at Pelita @Jln Ampang when we saw a few budak2 lepak sambil minum teh tarik. agak terkejut bila tgk ramainya budak2 perempuan merokok cam tu je. dorang nih tak takut ke anak cacat bila mengandung nanti???

ntahhhla, kena byk usaha, usaha, usaha dan doa minta perlindungan Allah!

sibuknya kehidupan

I have been very busy for the past few weeks, the last post to this blog was sometime before Hari Raya. I guess it is extremely late for me to wish Selamat Hari Raya to all. You are more than welcome to our newly-moved-in kuarters at Presint 14. langsir baru nak ambil hari ni, so insya allah dah almost ready la to welcome all.

Map to our place is here:

http://maps.google.com.my/maps/mpl?ie=UTF8&moduleurl=http://maps.google.com.my/help/maps/local_search/mapplet.html&mapclient=google&f=q&hl=en&utm_campaign=ms&utm_medium=ha&utm_source=ms-ha-apac-my-sk-gm&utm_term=map

Kawan2, you can drop by our house anytime, even though Hari Raya would be over very soon.

On another note, we didn’t have any good hari raya pictures since I lost the camera. Alhamdulillah, I managed to find it so there will be few post-Hari Raya pics coming up, hasil kutipan dari pada kawan2, adik beradik yang berbaik hati mengambil gambar kami.

My application to UPM has been granted, insya allah classes will begin in Dec 09. I have talked to Abbas bout this, he was quite surprise that I would hook myself up with another serious engagement – STUDY!!!

He knows me very well; I couldn’t cope with two things running parallel. He proposed I take a year unpaid leave, but our financial capacity is a little bit off-the road. So I don’t want to burden him any further since most of the loan is my personal loan. No sponsorship is secured at the moment; MARA stopped their loan facilities a year ago. MOHE do have some, but only to those graduate who are currently unemployed. TN***** - strictly no-no even for an application since I am not E1* yet. I don’t understand this stupid scheme, which only allow employee of more than 6 years in service to apply for scholarship. So, I need money to pay tuition fees and all the mortgage. No option except part time study.

I have to start plan things ahead….

Oh Allah Almighty, please help me!

umi vs Bapak

Fatiha is almost 16months now, but i hardly heard her called me "UMI", it has been BAPAK all this while, from the very first moment she said her first word, Bapak has been the word, she said it loud and clear, very frequent up to almost 100 times a day.

i was ok in the beginning, but towards later, i felt a lil bit sad, why she never wanted to call me UMI whilst she can pronounced bi..bi..bi... asking for milk. sometimes she said meme (as if what gedik actress MEmey suhaiza tuh), but never a full word UMI.

Am i upset? Yes, sometimes! up to a point she called me bapak whenever Abbas was not around, ' Umi la, bukan Bapak. Bapak keje', she just smiled back and kept on saying that word.

Abbas calm me down, 'takpela, nanti dia sebut la tuh, janganla terasa sangat, kanak2 tak faham pn ape dia ckp'

and yesterday, she pronounced it loud and clear, Mak...Mak...bi..bi...

hmmm, should i call myself from Umi to Mak? Seriously I dont want it, but let time decides (of course with hard pray from me to have the title Umi)

P/S: Fatiha, u will smile and drop some tears when u read this later, only Allah knows how much I love u!

M.i.S.s.I.n.G

ujian Ramadhan

banyak sebenarnya nak tulis sepanjang 12 hari Ramadhan ni. sedih suka duka macam2 yang jadi, tapi sebagai manusia kita kena redha dan tawakkal sebanyak-banyaknya.

1. Puasa bermusafir - 3 hari aku kena assigned to Cameron Highlands, harapannya nak tambah lagi sikit data to improve my analyses, but after 3 days meranduk air sungai yang kotor dan busuk, results yang dapat lead to no avail. Guess I have to sit down and check every parameters and seek help from experts...but time is running out. Bila nak berbuka tuh, beli la macam2 kat pasar dan nk simpan utk sahur, tapi tak kesampaian. Basi la plak...memang sabar la jadi kawan.

2. W.a.t.c.h - not even a year after Abbas bought the nice CK-gold-bangle-watch, i accidentally had it fell on the floor and smashed its shiny crytal face, aduh...sedihnya la bila tgk remuk pecah berkecai jam kesayangan aku. Its not bout the watch, its the value it carries! it was meant for anniversary last year, and we rushed to KL the weekend after to send it for replacement. it would be soo damn expensive but I would pay for it, be it i have to dig the money out of nowhere.

3. sony ericsson g705 - we went for a buka puasa family gathering in Shah Alam, stayed there for about 2 hours or so until we are done with terawih, then I realised the phone was missing. we checked and called all numbers that could have seen it, but it was nowhere to be found. again, it was a birthday gift from dear husband, it didnt even last for a year, merely entering into its forth month!!!!! i lost all contacts, all pics, videos of Fatiha start berjalan, start bercakap and almost everything.

4. time - Abbas has now completed his houseman, hence he is on new MO's tagging at Ortho Dept. starting from today, he will be on daily calls up for the next two weeks, including weekends. the saddest part is, he will finish the shift at 10pm everyday, or no more buka puasa together for us until it is very close to Raya.......... aduhai. kasihan suami ku, i would then miss preparing buka puasa meal (which i love to bits), perhaps just make simple fried rice or beehoon or anything simpler for him when he comes home, and of course much simpler food for sahur. no more solat maghrib jemaah, no more tarawih jemaah since I would do mine earlier to preapre Fatiha to sleep.

semoga ujian-ujian ini membantu kami menghargai kehidupan dan mensyukuri nikmat-Mu , ya Allah.