Jul 12, 2012

tak marah itu indah

Semalam buat pertama kalinya saya puasa sunat dalam tahun 2012 (sila jangan salah anggap dengan kenyataan ini jika tuan/puan, bukan riak atau bangga diri), memang agak memalukan kalau dibandingkan dengan orang lain yang sangat rajin berpuasa sunat Isnin dan Khamis. Saya akui, masalah utama saya jika berpuasa adalah 'ketagihan terhadap coffee', bukan sebab lapar atau dahaga sangat. Saya sangat bergantung kepada coffee untuk survive terutamanya di sebelah petang, bila mood kerja menurun dan mengantuk. Kerja harian saya memang sangat membaca dan menulis.

Tapi, keadaan sangat berbeza semalam. Mungkin seruan dari Allah. Pukul 3.45 pagi saya terjaga, bangun untuk solat isya'. Memalukan juga sebab solat fardhu pun lambat. Anak-anak saya jenis yang tidur awal, pukul 8.30 mula merengek ajak saya naik untuk tidur bersama-sama. Bila badan letih, lepas makan malam, baring je atas katil yang best, memang senang sangat terlelap. Tau2 dah lewat malam. Pendek cerita, lepas solat isya', Faidz pula bangun menangis. Terus tak nak tidur, turun dari katil sendiri dalam kegelapan tuh mencari saya. Biasanya saya memang cepat je bengang kalau anak bangun malam-malam keriau ni. Tapi ntah kenapa, rasa tak marah dan boleh berfikir secara rasional. Kebetulan dah habis solat, so saya cuba tidurkan dia semula tapi gagal. Kelasakan Faidz dalam gelap tu bertambah-tambah, so saya bawa die turun ke bawah, ke ruang tamu. Saya buka la tv (patutnya buka la Quran kan?) untuk konon-konon bagi Faidz senyap tengok kartun. Tapi dia tak pay attention, so saya tutup TV temankan dia main. Sikit pun hati saya tak bengang nak marah-marah Faidz walhal memang sangat mengantuk. Tak tau nk buat ape sambil tengok Faidz main sorang-sorang, saya pun selak-selak buku2 yang saya beli tapi tak sempat nak baca (bukan tak sempat, sebenarnya hati yang jauh.., jahilnya!!). Alhamdulillah, adalah sedikit pengisian di waktu awal pagi.  Bila tengok jam semula, dah dekat pukul 5 pagi. Cepatnya masa berlalu. Saya pun decide, 'nak puasalah hari ni. tak pernah puasa lagi untuk tahun ni'. Saya panaskan nasi dengan sambal udang malam tadi, dan keluarkan cempedak untuk goreng. 'Alang-alang dah terjaga ni, nak goreng cempedak la. Dari 3-4 hari lepas suami minta, tapi tak sempat nak buat'. Faidz pun ok, so cepat aje lah tangan ni menggoreng. Bila saya tengok Faidz buat ape, suami saya dah bangun. 'Sedapnya bau' Tersengih-sengih saya sebab happy dapat buatkan cempedak goreng yang dah lama dia mintak. Jadi, kami pun bersahur sama-sama (dengan Faidz juga). Elok je azan berkumandang kat TV, Faidz pun dah terlena kat pangkuan saya. Saya letak dia dalam bilik, mata pun mula la tertutup. Tak sampai lima minit, Fatiha pula bangun. Kepala rasa sangat berat, rasa geram, memang nak mengamuk je rasanya, tapi tak jadi nak marah. Saya pun bawa Fatiha turun jumpa suami saya, 'Tiya nak semayang la bapak'. Terkejut saya, sambil bersyukur. Hilang rasa mengantuk, cepat-cepat bawa dia ambil wudhu. Kami pun solat bersama. Rasa nikmat sangat, sebab sangat-sangat-sangat susah untuk kami solat subuh bersama sebab selalu ambil giliran jaga anak-anak, dan masa bangun pun lain-lain. Alhamdulillah. Ingat kan sempat la saya tidur sekejap, tapi Fatiha nak mandi pula. Suami saya lelap sekejap, 'tkpela, dia kene kerja sampai malam, saya beralahlah', bisik dalam hati saya. Rasa kagum dengan diri sendiri, ikutkan mungkin dah 5-6 kali saya marah-marah ni, tapi tak rasa pun nk marah. 


Thank you Allah.


Siapa sangka, Allah 'bangunkan' saya untuk jumpa Dia sekejap, sambil saya dapat tunaikan permintaan suami, dan jaga anak yang meragam, tanpa sedikit pun rasa marah. Pada saya, perasaan tak marah tu adalah satu anugerah, sebab saya memang sangat senang nak marah...

Sedikit pedoman bagi kita yang senang naik angin,

Telah menceritakan kepadaku Yahya bin Yusuf telah mengabarkan kepada kami Abu Bakr yaitu Ibnu Ayyasy dari Abu Hashin dari Abu Shalih dari Abu Hurairah radliallahu 'anhu bahwa seorang laki-laki berkata kepada Nabi shallallahu 'alaihi wasallam; "Berilah aku wasiat?" beliau bersabda: "Janganlah kamu marah." Laki-laki itu mengulangi kata-katanya, beliau tetap bersabda: "Janganlah kamu marah." [Shahih Bukhari 5651]


Saya ambil dari google image


Nanti saya sambung lagi entri sebelah siangnya. 

Jun 27, 2012

First step to becoming better

We were lucky that last Friday the famous motivator/family counsellor Pak Utih came to our office for a 2-hr talk on Membina Keluarga Bahagia. I purposely spared that Friday afternoon to listen to his talk despite the pending conference papers that I have to submit and a few other unfinished work. I know him as a beloved father to a dear friend of mine, but I have never had the opportunity to listen direct from him. 

He started giving his talk by comparing the physical and brain anatomy between men and women. He referred a lot to 'Man are from Mars, Women are from Venus by John Gray' and of course from the Holy Book of Quran. It could be summarised that men are focus, direct and problem solver, which make them in a very good position to being a leader. Women on the hand are multi-task, guarding and expressive, the reasons why they are entrusted as family-keeper. Having listened to his talk, I have no doubt that women should be staying at home, looking after the family especially the kids, managing the family financial, educating the kids and best of all, nurturing them to become a humble servant of Allah thus bringing good deeds to people. You may say I am a bit old-fashioned, conservative and traditional, but that is the hard fact reality that every woman and man has to accept. 

Book cover 
Unfortunately, I am still far from being categorised into that group. I am grateful for those friends of mine who  are SAHM, and I pity my sisters, family members and even myself for still having to work and at the same time serving the function of a mother, wife, educator etc. But looking back, being a working mother and busy wife is not all that bad, less time we have at home and with the kids really means that we have to make the most out of it. It is difficult of course, but many had succeeded before. I might not know Khadijah r.a or Asiah r.a. or Aishah r.a. in person, but I believe they are the best example for us. Khadijah was a very succesful businesswoman prior to marrying Rasulullah s.a.w, and she gave everything in terms of wealth, time and energy to her husband in supporting him for the cause of Islam. She also gave birth to all the children, and of course educating and nurturing them to become faithful servant of Allah and to mankind. We, in this current world, are ONLY doing maybe 20% of her duties, we are not married to any leader or public figure, our husbands are not facing the rejection of his own people, we have no business to run, and maybe we are doing the minimal in educating the children as we outsource this task to a specific kindergarten/school. All I am saying is that, our capacity is not fully utilised, there are plenty of spaces in our hectic schedule (to play many roles) for us explore and make full use of it. Of course this is applicable to me as well, which I hope this writing would be a useful reminder for me for now and in the future. 

As for now, I am still far from maximising my own capacity. I still waste a lot of time, procrastinate and live in shadow. I have many plans but poor execution. I complain but not improving things. Shut! Let us stop all these, and move on. That includes me! Let us take the first step to becoming better...

Lets have this!

Till then, let us work hard and smart! 

Jun 18, 2012

we are His creation

Abbas and I took a day off last wednesday to watch a movie. We headed to Mid Valley, bought the ticket and watched Prometheus, without watching the trailer nor reading the review. It was fictious, vague storyline, and completely against my belief as a Muslim. To begin with, both Holloway and Shaw (the archaelogist) believed that human is created (which is true) by somewhat they called Engineer. They travelled thousands of miles away and across the galaxy, on a super-awesome spaceship to the place they believed a home to the Engineer. This was where I started to lose interest in the movie, as if they returned to meet and question their god on their existence. Cut the story short, after going through all the adventures to search for the Engineer and met them, the so-called Engineer (or their creator) was also somebody's creation. Shaw (the only survivor) finally decided to go to the place where the Engineer comes from to seek for the Engineer's creator (i.e. the human creator).


I remember crying after the Zuhr prayer, thanking Allah the Almighty for giving me the chance to be born in Islam. I have never understood to what extent people would go and do just to get an answer such as 'Who creates me?'. As Muslim, we believe that we are created by Allah the Almighty, to worship Him. We do not have to search for this answer, in fact the inner part of us always tell that we are bound to Him, the One True God. Alhamdulillah, I am so grateful I am in it already. 



'Ya Allah, kekal kan lah aku, suamiku, anak-anakku, keluargaku, sahabat handai, rakan taulan dan seluruh saudara muslim ku agar tetap dalam iman, hidup dan mati dalam iman'. 

Indeed, Iman is the best thing that ever happens to us, Muslim.

Amin

Jun 11, 2012

eating out at mohd chan abdullah

After visiting ros and her newborn at annur, we or rather I persuaded abbas to try out the new chinese muslim restaurant at Sek 8 Bandar Baru Bangi. At the time we arrived, the restaurant was full that we managed to squeeze through the crowd to find a decent spot right in the middle of the restaurant. We browsed through the menu, and my first impression was 'the menu looks good, but the prices are rather expensive'. Abbas on the other hand suggested 'Worth a try, otherwise we'll never know..'


Front view of the restaurant - courtesy of http://bengelina.blogspot.com/2010/11/mohd-chan-abdullah.html


So he ordered buttered prawn, siakap goreng 3 rasa, kangkung belacan, sotong masak kum doh (I cant remember the exact name correctly) and telur fuyong. I was at the toilet with Fatiha when he made the order. When I saw the printed order list, I told him that we'd be feasting that night, its a lot actually!

Then the food started to arrive, they look really good. 

Food clockwise - Telur Fuyong aka telur dadar, Siakap goreng 3 rasa, Kangklung belacan

And definitely we tasted one after the other, and to our disappointment, the sotong was too far off from being good. I think they used either brown sotong (sotong rendam) or frozen squid that the dish was bland! 

Well presented yet fail to taste buds! 

The fish (siakap) was OK, nothing special to bring the overall rating up. Kangkung belacan was very oily that I felt like they dump all the used oil from deep frying the fish earlier for the pitiful amount of belacan..sigh! Buttered prawn was not that good either, again the prawn was not of fresh stock, perhaps it came from the imported frozen white prawns!

Barely touched!

Anyway, we gave the restaurant 4 out of 10. Despite their long established name, they have to work extra hard to earn it again, at least for us!

Disclaimer : This is purely based on our personal review, but keep on trying Mohd Chan Abdullah!   

Jun 8, 2012

supermom wannabe

please dont grow up kiddies!!!

after a long while

assalamualaikum and good day,

after almost a year procrastinating on putting a new entr i finally decided to reactivate this blog again. in case u guys missed it, my son Faidz is .now 13 months old, while Fatiha has now becoming a alkative 4 year old toddler


 




alhamdulillah, the deareat husband and i had just celebrated our 5th yr annversary, a lot has happened of course, for good and bad. Despite all the ups and downs in our journey, our love and affection towards each other have never faded. Not a single second passed by without me loving him more.

now that i have finished my master, the bosses have started to ask to me pursue for phd. I am still thinking though, any decision will defintely have impacts on both the kids, myself and the husband. for now, i am still praying for a guidance from Allah the Almighty.

as for today, i just want to spend time with the kiddies....exhaustion from yesterday's one day field sampling trip is still eating me from within...

Jul 6, 2011

back to work

assalamualaikum,

it's been close a month at work since the end day of the confinement, and I thank Allah every second and everyday for guiding me to go through all the challenges, from being a mother of one to a mother of two, with more responsibilities in the office.

Apart from clearing some backlog, updating status and catching up with the timeline, life has been great for the four of us; on breastfeeding, housewife-ing and studying

BF

Alhamdulillah, production has never declined that I managed to get at least 15oz per day, based on three times pumping. The pumping gadget travels everywhere with me, you name it PJ, Bangsar, Mid Valley, Semenyih and Port Dickson. But the challenge is not over yet, I'm up for bringing the routine of pumping to Chenderoh end of this month, and hopefully I could squeeze time between the sampling and dropping by Petronas Surau anywhere by the roadside to express the milk out, insya Allah. Stock in the fridge is at least 60oz, to get me ready for the upcoming Ramadhan.

Kids

fatiha is now much easier to handle in the morning, less excuses for not going to Taska, as I've always said, "Faidz dah pegi skolah, Tia pn kena pegi skolah, kesian Faidz tkde orang teman dia", and she's been nodding to that eversince. Though I dont get up very early, I hope to continue preparing her breakfast set (basically just frying nugget) every morning (only today I failed, sbb sgt2 tk smpat).

Faidz on the other hand has recovered from flu and cold. That;s the risk every mother in this world had to bear for sending the kids to kindergarten/nursery. We had to give him meds to speed up the recovery, I could not bear to depend solely on the developing immune system, kesian sangat! I'm yet to bring him to his second jab, that the first appointment for the 2month jab was cancelled due to his flu. Insya allah, I'll try to bring him this evening after work.

Housewife

House chores increase like rain that never stops, yet I'm happy doing it. Penat? Don't ask! Everyday after work, I pick up Fatiha (from Taska in my office) and Faidz (from Taska near our house), then as soon as we arrive, I'll clear their bags, wash the bottles, store the EBM, and put the clothes in for washing. If Faidz can stay on his matress while Fatiha watches her PHDC, I quickly cook rice and just dump anything edible from the fridge for dinner. If Abbas arrives early, he helps me looking after the kids, if not, sometimes I have to cook with them both (dont ask how, creativity comes with risk).

Work

Needless to say, it never ends. Sometimes I have the thought of taking leave for study, but am I up for it? PhD is damn tough, and I am afraid of risking my current happy routine for that!

Quote from Ust Hasrizal (from IKIM motivasi pagi)

''Ketenangan lahir from kasih sayang dalam keluarga, suami kepada isteri, isteri kepada suami, suami dan isteri kepada anak-anak, anak-anak kepada ibu dan bapa,

Mawaddah - cabaran2 yang dihadapi, masalah2 yang mendatang dlm keluarga

Rahmah - optimistic dalam menyelesaikan masalah/cabaran yang mendatang, that solutions come from rasa kasih/belas/ihsan to one another, that the challenges/problems turn to sweetest memories in life"

Syukur, syukur dan syukur..